Moving back over from different blog...

6 months ago post...Well, I guess I should update

We had another unsuccessful month of ttc. We are officially on a break. After I got the news the day of my blood test, a whole new attitude came over me. I knew that this was going to be our last try for a while and I’m not gonna just sit around and mope about it. I’ve decided to take this time off to work on things for myself. I joined a gym, I actually went to the gym, and started eating healthier. Next time we try, we’ll be trying with a whole new me. 

Until next time.

Brooke

7 months ago post...I can't shake this feeling

As we’ve embarked on this journey of ttc for the last 4 months, I’ve tried to stay as positive as possible. We’ve done 3 unsuccessful ICIs at home and this time we moved on to get help from a fertility specialist and had a medicated IUI on Dec. 28th.

The last few weeks have been hell with all the hormones. I went in this last Friday (9dpiui) to have my progesterone level checked and it was low. It was high enough to know that I did ovulate, but low enough to tell us that my body wouldn’t support a pregnancy. I can’t help but keep thinking of this as a major blow to my being. I keep thinking….”So, I couldn’t just have a baby naturally without intervention.” That’s kind of a hard pill to swallow and people keep saying that I’m being too negative or that I should look on the bright side. While I know that they are right about me trying to stay positive, it still hurts and they don’t know unless they’ve been there period.

There, I just needed to get that out.

I’m feeling the itch today to pee-on-a-stick so bad! I’m at 12dpiui and a large percentage of people get their positives at this point. My next bloodwork appointment isn’t until Friday. I don’t know if I can hold out that long. Although, to tell the truth, I don’t have a good feeling about this time. The only time I’ve had a good feeling about all these tries at conception, was the first try. Then, I landed in cynical this is never going to happen land :( It sucks to think that I just put my body through all this hell for nothing.

Until next time.

Brooke